Another day in the life of...

Great. I got a bunch of replies on Model Mayhem in regards to some pending photo shoots and I can't log in because their servers are overloaded. Mother fucker!

Gah.

Writer's Block entry of the day:

When was the last time you surprised someone else?

I've been surprising people left and right as of late. I surprised my best friend last weekend by going up to her place and dropping off Theraflu, Ricola and a copy of 3:10 to Yuma. I surprised my ex by not only agreeing to take him back once his divorce is finalized, but by speaking to him again so soon after he gave me a bit of bad news that he knew was going to piss me off. I surprised my boss on Sunday by telling him "Well it doesn't matter anyway, because today's my last day." when he yelled at me for reading a book a work when there was (literally) nothing else to do. Knowing him, he's forgotten allll about that and is assuming I'm still an employee. Which is fine by me because until I get a steady job, I'll work weekends for $10/hour. So long as the bastard leaves me be.

I have a Livejournal. And on LJ, they have this feature called "Writer's Block." It's like those writing prompts you get in school. This is a novel idea and under normal circumstances, I'd participate.

However, my journal is "friends only". And these prompts are really meant for public entries. A majority of the participants do have public journals. Unlocking my journal completley is not an option for me.

So. I'm just going to answer these prompts on here!
**********
"Is there anything you've done that you wish you'd apologized for, but didn't?"

No. Because chances are that I've already apologized for it if I felt bad enough about what I had done.  If I haven't, to which, I can't think of anything right now that I'd like to apologize for, it's because I probably can't due to circumstances that are beyond my control. Like...losing contact with the person.

Really, if you feel bad enough, instead of holding it in, just swallow your pride and say your sorry. Because if you don't you'll regret it and you'll waste your time regretting it and really - regret is just a sorry state to begin with. It sucks away valuable time that you could be using enjoying the rest of your life.

I keep saying over and over that I'm going to use this more often than I do, and I don't. I also say that about my blog over at okcupid.com. I think I should get rid of that account seeing as I never used it as it was meant for (online dating) and my dating situation is solved now...albeit not without complication. That's another story, perhaps?

I'm trying to think of something to write about, anything really. Personal, public, celebrity, political - though the latter of those will probably not happen because I don't know enough about politics to save my life. Really, I had no idea who to vote for in the primaries, save for keeping it Democrat. Really, the only issues I care about are the war and women's rights. They obliterate women's rights and I'm hopping the border. Canada, here I come!!!

How often does this get read, I wonder? Since I'm not posting about stalkers and bad fans anymore, and I'm not entirely active on here, does it get read at all? I wonder this because if I pose a question, would anyone answer?

...and that's a question in and of itself.

...that for about 90 to 95% of the world's population that can create a "favorite actors" list, Johnny Depp will make that list at some point. Whether he be #1 or #1,000,000 - he will be in there.

Therefore, he is the default favorite actor for almost everyone.

And therefore, there is no need to place him in one's favorite actors list. Because we already know he's there! And there's no need for reiteration. That's just redundant.

I've decided that I'm going to die in my sleep.

And if I really had control over that situation, well then, I'd certainly be a happy camper!

No, really. If I have to die, I want to go in my sleep. I figure that's the best way to go, because you don't know it's happening. I'm scared of dying. Who isn't? We're scared because we don't know. But really, if you don't know it's happening, is there anything to fear? You just go to sleep and that's it. Saves you a lot of trouble and pain.

Really, it's *the* way to die. Besides during sex. Now talk about going out with a smile on your face.

I'm pushing 24. I live by myself...sort of...in a small room in a small house next to the most ghetto suburb in the San Fernando Valley. Sort of black and white, day and night, that sort of contrast and I'm on the right side of the tracks for once. Small place, small job, small body, small smile, small life, small beginnings.

It feels like a small life and beginning anyway. It doesn't seem so large, but everyone tells me it has been. I guess you can't see it when you're living it. But everyone else can because they're not.

I do have to sit back sometimes and reflect on everything I've seen said and done on ocassion. I'd go nuts if I tried to ignore it, because really, you can't ignore yourself. I guess this is one of those times where I'm sitting back and thinking about a plethora of things and am staring at my life in amazment, thinking "Did I really do that? Did that really happen, or has it been one long drawn out dream."

Odd thing to trigger this, but I was walking home a little while ago, listening to Cex Cells, and for whatever reason was paying really close attention to Davey's voice. And I got hit with a shockwave because it's like...how can I put it...it's not really just a voice. Well it is sometimes, but it wasn't at that second. It was a voice that belong to a guy that I at one time really looked up to and isn't just another face on a poster but is someone that I actually got to meet a few times, that I got to shove around in a mosh pit, that I've seen on stage countless times. No longer faceless.

And it's like a snowball effect. You think about how you got to do one thing or see one thing and you start thinking about all the other things you've done and you sit back and just go, "...wow." And that's what I've been doing for the past hour, just going "whoa."

I've moved over 30 times in my life, lived in two other states prior to this and moved out here on a whim nearly 6 years ago. I've gotten to interview bands, I've put myself through school, been in and out of quite a few relationships and friendships, traveled to both ends of the state for concerts and friends, gone OUT of state for shows, have found and reconnected with people I haven't seen in almost a decade, deeply established myself in two places, have been homeless and jobless - both seperately and at the same time, fallen in and out of love, survived both a suicide attempt and a couple of overdoses, survived my teen years, survived school in both the ghetto and the richest parts of town (both can be equally dangerous), had enough guts to tell my parents and step parents off, stayed out until the sun came up doing absolutely nothing with my best friends countless times and I could go on and on and on.

And in the long run, it's pretty insignificant. But at this very second and for me, it's made this very small existance a lot bigger and in it, the meaning of my life is hidden. At this moment, it's making me a person.

And I'm done waxing poetic.

I found this earlier today on Yahoo! News whilst perusing the site on my lunch break:

LONDON (Reuters) - A teen-ager whose teachers had stopped her wearing a "purity ring" at school to symbolize her commitment to virginity lost a High Court fight against the ban Monday.

Lydia Playfoot, 16, says her silver ring is an expression of her faith and had argued in court that it should be exempt from school regulations banning the wearing of jewelry.

"I am very disappointed by the decision this morning by the High Court not to allow me to wear my purity ring to school as an expression of my Christian faith not to have sex outside marriage," Playfoot said in a statement.

"I believe that the judge's decision will mean that slowly, over time, people such as school governors, employers, political organizations and others will be allowed to stop Christians from publicly expressing and practicing their faith."

Playfoot's legal challenge was the latest in a series of disputes in British schools in recent years over the right of pupils to wear religious symbols or clothing, such as crucifixes and veils.

Last year, the Law Lords rejected Shabina Begum's appeal for permission to wear a Muslim gown at her school in Luton. That case echoed a debate in France over the banning of Muslim headscarves in state schools.

Playfoot's parents are key members of the British arm of the American chastity campaign group the Silver Ring Thing, a religious group which urges abstinence among young people.

Those who sign up wear a ring on the third finger of the left hand. It is inscribed with "Thess. 4:3-4," a reference to a Biblical passage from Thessalonians which reads: "God wants you to be holy, so you should keep clear of all sexual sin."

During the case, Playfoot's lawyers argued that the ban by her school in Horsham, West Sussex, breached her human rights to "freedom of thought, conscience and religion" which are protected by the European Convention on Human Rights.

Lawyers for the school denied discrimination and said the purity ring breached its rules on wearing jewelry.

They said allowances were made for Muslim and Sikh pupils only for items integral to their religious beliefs and that, for the same reason, crucifixes were also allowed. But it argued that the purity ring was not an integral part of the Christian faith.

Playfoot said in her statement she would consult her legal team to consider whether to appeal.

I'm an opinionated sort, and this kind of saddened me. So I posted a bulletin about it on Myspace saying, "Maybe it's just me, but something strikes me as wrong when - regardless of what country it is - someone isn't allowed to wear something (that is by all means discreet) because it symbolizes their faith.

I'm not religious myself. But really, that's just not fair. She's proud of her beliefs. People should just leave it be."

Got an interesting response back from someone on my list who was born and resides in the States...but I had forgotten that they're also a legal citizen of England:

From the perspective of a British National - I completely agree with this decision.

First, in the United Kingdom there is a compulsory uniform policy so there already exists a limit to personal or religious expression. There are exceptions made to clothing, jewelery or other adornments that are requirements of a particular faith.

Things like the muslim headscarf and the hindu bindi are allowed because they are required as part of their religious practice. Burkas, while required in some traditions are prohibited for safety issues. The wearing and display of Christian symbols (or Jewish ones) are not required as part of the faith and are thus prohibited.

For Britain, it's all part of maintaining a uniformity in schools so that time and resources can be spent on education rather than fighting a constant political and philosophical debate.

This uniformity is one of the reasons that the UK has a significantly superior public school system to that of the United States.

Food for thought, no?

• I'm spiteful.
• I'm loud.
• I call people on their bullshit.
• I call people out, period, if they're acting like a moron.
  
• I say it like it is.
• I am very opinionated.
• I only judge if you've earned it.
• I don't do e-scene.
• I don't do scene, period. Scene and cliques are for high school and I'm not in it anymore.
• I don't like fraudulence in any form, it's ugly and disgusting.
  
• I don't lie, and I will not spare your feelings.
• I will draw blood and/or tears if you piss me off. Possibly both. And I will not stop until I do.
• If I want a reaction, trust me, I will get it. By any means necessary.
• I am vengeful.
• I hold grudges.
• I am usually angry about something. Injustice doesn't sit well with me.
• I am all for free speech, but if you're abusing it, or just sound stupid, I'll shut you up.
  
• I earn whatever respect I have from others, and believe that people should earn it as well and not just be given it for no reason.
• I've busted my ass for what all I have - work, school, posessions, every damn thing -  and likewise, respect and believe others should do the same. Those who don't really should be put in their place. Preferablly by me.
  
• If I don't like you, I will make it abundantly clear.

You still hate me?

GOOD.

I could post short stories. But I don't really have any to post at the moment. Once school is out, I can start working on a story that's brewing. But I have to do a lot of research to make sure it's accurate. BAH.

I signed up with okcupid.com back in...January, I think? I'm just now using the account. I could post about whatever crazy people I meet. Maybe I can make this some sort of social experiment.

I'm sitting in the breakroom at work. I clocked off like an hour ago. I'm just a lazy bum and haven't bothered to hop the bus home. And sleep. Sleep would be grand. I miss it, starting to forget what it's like.

.......this is inane rambling. [/rambling]